The Aweful Battle of Pekes and the Policles

MUNKUSTRAP:
Jellicle cats meet once a year on the night
We make the Jellicle choice
Fnd now that the Jellicle leader is here
Jellicle cats can all rejoice

Of THE AWEFUL BATTLE
OF THE PEKES AND THE POLLICLES
Together with some Account of the Participation
of the Pugs and Poms, ànd
the Intervention of the Great Rumpuscat
Kick kick

The Pekes and the Pollicles, everyone knows,
Are proud and implacable passionate foes;
It is always the same, where ever one goes.
And the Pugs and the Poms, although most people say
That they do not like fighting, yet once in a way
They will now and again Join into the fray
Ànd they

CHORUS:
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

MUNKUSTRAP:
Until you can hear them all over the Park.

Now on the occasion of which I shall speak
Almost nothing had happened for nearly a week
(and that’s a long time for a Pol or a Peke).
The big Police Dog away from his beat —
I don’t know the reason, butmost people think
He slipped into the Wellington Arms for a drink —
And no one at all was about on the street
When a Peke and a Pollicle happened to meet.
They did not advance or exactly retreat,
But they glared at each other and scraped their hind feet,
And started to

CHORUS:
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

MUNKUSTRAP:
Until you can hear them all over the park.

Now the Peke, although people may say what they please,
Is no British dog but a heathen Chinse.
And so all the Pekes, when they heard the up-roar,
Some came to the window, some came to the door;
There… surely a dozen more likely a score
And together they started to grumble and wheeze
In their huffey snuffery heathen Chinese.
But a terrible din is what Pollicles like,
Forpollicle dog is a dour Yopkshire tyke.

CHORUS:
There are dogs out of every nation
The Irish, the Welsh and Dane;
The Russian and Dutch, the Dalmation,
And even from China and Spain
The Poodle and Pom, the Alsation
and Mastiff who walks on a chain.
And to those that are frisky and frollical
Let my meaning be perfectly plain; Plain
That my name it is little Tom Pollicle,
And you’d better not do it again.

MUNKUSTRAP:
And his braw Scottish cousins are snappers and biters,
And every dog-jack of them not able fighters;
And so they stepped out, with their pipers in order.
Playing When The Blue Bonnets Came Over the Border.
Then the Pugs and the Poms held no longer aloof,
But some from the balcony some from the roof,
Joined in
To the din
With a

CHORUS:
Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!

MUNKUSTRAP:
Until you can hear them all over the park.

Now when these bold heroes together assemled,
The traffic stopped and the Underground trembled
And some of the neighbours were so much afraid
That they started to ring up the Fire Brigade.
When suddenly up from the small basement flat,
Why who should stalk out but the GREAT RUMPUSCAT.
His eyes were like fireballs fearfully blazing
He gave a great yawn and his jaws were amazing;
And when he looked out through the bars of the area
You never saw anything fiercer or hairier.
And what with the glare of his eyes and his yawning
The Pekes and the Pollicles quickly took warning,
He looked at the sky and he gave a great leap —
And they every last one of them scattered like sheep.

And when the Police Dog returned to his beat,
There wasn’t a single one left on the street.

OLD DEUTERONOMY:
Jellicle cats and the dogs all must
pollicle dogs and cats all must
like undertakers come to dust.