CATS
 CATS
 
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The Ad-dressing od Cats

OLD DEUTERONOMY:
Youve heard of several kinds of cat,
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter
To understand our character.
Youve learned enough to take the view
That cats are very much like you.
Youve seen us both at work and games
And learnt about our proper names,
Our habits and our habitat;
But how would you address a cat?

CHORUS: 
So first, your memory Ill jog
And say: a cat is not a dog.

OLD DEUTERONOMY:
Now dogs pretend they like to fight
They often bark, more seldom bite
But yet a dog is, on the whole,
What you would call a simple soul 
The usual dog about the town
Is much inclined to play the clown
And far from showing too much pride
Is frequently undignified
He's such an easy-going lout
He'll answer any hail or shout

CHORUS:
The usual dog about the town
Is inclined to play the clown
Again I must remind you that
A dog's a dog; a cat's a cat

OLD DEUTERONOMY:
With cats, some say, one rule is true.
Dont speak till you are spoken to.
Myself, I do not hold with that.
I say, you should address a cat
But always keep in mind that he
Resents familiarity.
You bow and taking off your hat,
Address him in this form O cat!

Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend
Some little to ken of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream;
And you might now then supply
Some caviar or Strassburg pie,
Some potted grouse or salmon paste.
Hes sure to have his personal taste.

And so in Time you reach your aim
And call him by his name.

CHORUS:
A ats entitled to expect
These evidences of respect.
So this is this, and that is that:
And theres how you address a cat.

A cats entitled to expect
These evidences of respect.
So this is this and that is that:
And theres how you address a cat.

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