Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
We’re a notorious couple of cats
Knock about clowns, quick change comedians
Tight rope walkers and acrobats 
We have an extensive reputation.
We make our home in Victoria Grove
this is merely our centre of operation
for we are incurably given to rove.
If the area window is found ajar
And the basement looks like a field of war
If a tile or comes loose on the roof
which presently fails to be waterproof
If the drawers are pulled our from the bedroom chests
and you can’t find one of your winter vests
Or if after supper one of the girls
Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls.
Then the family ‘ll say it’s that horrible cat.
Was it Mungojerrie Or Rumpleteazer
and most of the time they leave it at that.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
Have an unusual gift of the gab. 
We are highly efficient cat burglars as well
And remarkably smart at a smash and grab.
We make our home in Victoria Grove
we have no regular occupation we are plausible fellows
who like to engage a friendly policeman in conversation.
When the family assembles for Sunday dinner
Their minds made up that they won’t get thinner
on Argentine joint potatoes and greens
then the cook would appear from be hind the scenes
And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow
I’m afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow
The joint has gone from the oven like that.
Then the family ’ll say it’s that horrible cat.
Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer
and most of the time they leave it at that 

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
Have a wonderful way of working together
And some of the time you would say it  was luck
And some of the time you would say it was weather
we go thro ’the house like a hurricane
And no sober person could take his oath.
Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer?
Or could you have sworn that it might’ve been both?
And when you hear a dining room smash
Or up from the  pantry there comes a loud crash
Or down from the library came a loud ping from a vase
Which was commonly said to be Ming 
then the family ’ll say now which was which cat?
It was Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
And there’s no-thing at all to be done a-bout that.
And There’s no-thing at all to be done a-bout that.